How to tile a bathroom

Things we learned the hard way:

1. Remove the toilet before installing the Hardiboard.

2. Paint before putting tile down, especially if you are using a bright green-blue and your tiles are white.

3. The instructions on the box of grout say to let it firm between tiles before wiping off the excess, but this does not mean you have time to go play poker at a friend's house. A delay like this means three very miserable hours crouched on cold, hard tile scrubbing, scraping, and muttering obscenities under your breath while your hands cramp up and your waterlogged skin starts to slough off.